What is wrong with me?
For nearly 10 years, I experienced debilitating, frightening, and painful symptoms that no doctor could explain. I saw countless specialists, all of whom knew nothing about what was happening to my body. Eventually, I was sent to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with panic, anxiety, and agoraphobia. I knew what was happening to my body was beyond anxiety, but that is how I would be treated for the next 10 years. In 2020, my symptoms came crashing down on me and I was left bedridden, unable to do anything alone. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t cook for my family, I couldn’t stand. My life felt like it had zero meaning and I felt completely hopeless. I finally found a doctor who took one look at me and told me this was not just anxiety and they were going to figure it out. For the first time, I felt like someone saw me as more than a patient with anxiety. After running dozens of tests, I was officially diagnosed with Lyme and co-infections, mold illness, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, and a host of additional “chronic” illnesses. For one year I lived with this reality, began treatment, and I started to see some improvements. For one year, I got to see a glimpse of what “normal” life felt like again. For nearly 6 months, I have been lucky enough to be living again. My treatment is working, my mindset has changed, and my hope is restored. After 10+ years of feeling miserably empty, I finally feel like my life has meaning and worth again. My biggest, deepest, and best advice to give is that YOU know your body best. If you feel like something is wrong, keep searching for the answer. Please, don’t give up. And please remember, even if your life looks different than before, healing is possible.
